Monday, November 18, 2013

I Give Thanks For...

I give thanks for when Gwyneth Paltrow issues her Holiday Guide every year on GOOP, which includes some of the most fabulous items for those who aren't, you know, ordinarily inclined (i.e., normal).

Thanks, Paltrow, for all these really great suggestions. I'm going to run right out and order a pink slingshot right now {ka-ching, $120}. She is a crackpot.

This list and commentary is from E! Online. Even they think it's stupid:

10. Hermes Deck of Cards ($105) -- Yes, even Gwyneth's playing cards are designer.

9. George Jensen Double Candle Holder ($725) -- Not your average stainless steel.

8. Kimberly McDonald Geode Paperweight ($175) -- Because your paperweight really needs a geode in it.

7. Malle W. Trousseau Kitchen Set ($5,800) -- Isn't this more like the cost of renovating your entire kitchen?

6. Bespoke Global "Old School" Leather Football ($130) -- Gwyneth is all about the monogrammed items this year, including this leather football that can be monogrammed with a logo or initials -- because that's what the guy in your life really wants -- a football with his initials on it.

5. Hillier Paperclip Necklaces ($1,624) -- So a necklace shaped to look like a cheap paperclip costs well over a grand?

4. Seletti 'Vegaz' Light-Up Letter Tabletop Ornament ($512.50 -- $637.50) -- Decorating your room Vegas-style cheesy just got a whole lot more expensive.

3. Bespoke Home Monogrammed Linens Set ($1,209) -- Do not wipe your mouths with these.

2. Olivia Von Halle Silk PJs monogrammed with three 3 letters ($1,093.50) -- These better be the comfiest pajamas ever.

1. 72 Editions Neon Pink Slingshot ($120) -- Clearly not the most expensive item on the list, but a pink slingshot?! Seriously?!

Sunday, November 10, 2013


This week, I was at the gym before work, literally counting the seconds until I was done when something awesome happened.

The woman on the treadmill in front of me had one of the best trip-and-falls I've ever seen. But before I get into the details, yeah, yeah, she was fine. (Not the point.)

So to set the scene, the music is pounding, the place is fuggy with sweat and the entire endeavor is dead boring in that drone-like, repetitive way. We are a bunch of plugged-in sheep, mindlessly going through the motions.

Suddenly, there is a high-pitched yelp and I turn my head, just in time to see a woman literally in midair above her treadmill! She somehow lands on her back (what?? the physics of it are astounding!) on the treadmill, which then shoots her straight off the thing and onto the hard, cruel gym floor, where she skids to a stop.

She moves slightly, wincing, groaning, as people around her (not it) leap off their machines and swoop in to assist her.

But she bravely waves them off. She stands up gingerly, tests for broken limbs, shakes it off and without a care in the world (save her bruised back, butt, head and ego), she hops back up on the treadmill midstride, like nothing had ever happened. But it totally had, and about 50 people saw it all go down.

This all took place over the course of about 20 seconds. Best damn 20 seconds of my morning, possibly my week.

People are just wonderful, especially the grace-challenged ones, such as myself.

Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Taco Salad Swirls

On September 5, 2013, I started going back to the gym and tracking what I eat using MyFitnessPal. I am pleased to report that I've dropped 11 pounds since then. Just dropped 'em. Let them slip away and didn't stop to pick 'em back up.

Four- or five-days-a week cardio workouts and a 1350/cal a day limit (give or take) has done the trick. And I ain't done yet. I'm a-gonna keep dropping.

Today, I finally got back into my favorite pair of jeans, the ones I had banished to the back of the closet since my 2nd month of pregnancy with Ian, in 2009. BAM.

But also, today, I am thinking about taco salad.
Lots of it.

It is one of Finn's favorite foods (ground beef, taco seasoning, lettuce, cheese, done) and we're making it tonight. And I want it. I want that taco salad. I want it bad.

Two-plus months of nothing but a Diet Coke and a turkey/swiss/pickle sandwich for lunch can make the mind swirl and turn and spin when it comes to dinner. And today, my dinner swirl is a tasty kaleidoscope of taco salad.

How am I supposed to concentrate when I have taco salad on the brain? How, I ask you?

Monday, November 4, 2013

I Want That Blue


This is finally happening. After two years of considering, searching, collecting, imagining and debating, I will finally see this blue up close and in person.

This particular shade of water -- that aqua-marine, luminescent, Coke-bottle blue -- has always been a source of pleasure and calm. I turn to that color when I need a shot of happy.

However, I've never actually seen that color water in real life. So, we decided that it's never going to be "the perfect time" to go, so we may as well just do it. Find a good spot (in this case, Kauai) and book it. Just the two of us, no small- or medium-sized children allowed. Sorry, boys, we'll bring you back a coconut.

There will always be bills that need paying, a retirement that needs funding, an appliance that needs replacing, teeth that need straightening and on and on and on. Eff it. That stuff will always be there. So why not just make the leap, have some fun and enjoy the process.

The past couple years have been more difficult than I had hoped for a bunch of typical midlife reasons, but you can't always wait for things to be perfect. Life is happening now.

What the hell am I talking about? I don't know.

All I do know is that this will be ours, for 8 days straight. Sometime this spring.

Friday, September 6, 2013

HeLLLLooooo.....? Anybody Out Therrrrrrrre....?

OK. For today. Here. Now.

Let's get back to this thing, yo. I'm going to keep it short and simple, stupid. [KISSS]

* G*ddamn it, I was good at this blogging thing for awhile. I made myself laugh just now, reading over junk I'd written months ago, a year ago, four years ago. And if it made me laugh, then fine, it served a purpose. So I'm going to fire it up again and see how it fares.

* I want to rename the blog. Can I do that? Or do I have to start again? Anyone know anything about that?

* The lil' dudes are now 9 and 3. Finn the Older is a sporty sort, spouting off stuff of stellar significance. Ian the Younger is on the edge of big boy-ness, as well as on the edge of insanity at all times. He's a little nuts, but man, is that kid adorable. Everyone says so (declares his mom). So. You know, take that with a grain of salt.

* Mmmm, salt. I have always craved salt. As a kid, I used to sneak out to the garage to eat the rock salt my dad kept for melting ice off the driveway. And later, as a newly-married woman, my parents gleefully gifted me with a full-sized salt lick (you know, for cows?) in front of my wedding congregation. My doctor says the craving comes from my very, very, very low blood pressure. "Any lower, and you'd be dead," he told me once. And, as it turns out, Ian shares my love of salt. In restaurants, the salt shaker is the first thing he asks for  -- "Can I have just one lick of salt, from my hand?" And I give it to him, and I salivate. [Word dork alert: I just looked up the etymology of salivate, thinking it might derive from the French word for salt, which is sel. Nope.]

* I just started using MyFitnessPal, an app for the iPhone that helps track your calorie intake, exercise, water intake and more. It's pretty fun. And necessary, at this point. It was a fat summer. I'll leave it at that.

* The new job -- historian -- is going well, four months in. My job is cooler than yours. True. Fact. Bible.

* One year ago, we were taking a family trip to Newport, Ore.
* Two years ago, I loved this rainbow house.
* Three years ago, I was dealing with an early riser.
* Four years ago, I was hating on Gwyneth Paltrow. Easy.
* Five years ago, I was PMSing.

Over and out. We'll see if this is just another start-n-stop, or if I'm finally back in the mindspace to continue writing. I should. I make me laugh. Sometimes.

Monday, April 15, 2013

In History Limbo

Still haven't started my new job.


The process has taken a long, long, historically long time, but the end of the old and the beginning of the new are now in sight.

Although, that's what I thought a month ago, too, so I'm keeping my expectations in check.


It's been weird to have short-timers disease for two months, having accepted my new historian position on 2/19. And it will be at least another two and a half weeks before I can make any transition.

In positive news, my new office will be right in NW Portland. It will shorten my 35-minute commute to about 15 minutes. And I can meet friends for lunch, go shopping on breaks and generally be a part of the downtown scene again. And this makes me happy.

The office space is in the basement of Oregon's first theater-pub, opened in 1987. The building itself was constructed in 1912 as the Swedish Evangelical Mission Covenant Church of Portland. I haven't yet heard if there are any ghosts.

Will keep you posted.


Friday, March 1, 2013

Historically Good Times Ahead

I have mentioned in previous posts that things are weird for me now, for various issues and concerns that I haven't gone into.

One of those problems has hereby been solved! I got a new job.


It wasn't that I hated my previous position as a marketing writer. It's just that I've been doing it for eight years. The job had evolved, as things tend to do over the course of eight years, to include way more work and no more pay. And it was all becoming rote. My ability to keep things fresh and interesting was slipping and I couldn't rouse the energy to care any longer.

So then a new position within my company came up, and within a couple weeks, BAM, it was mine. Yes.

I am now... (this is the super-cool part)... a historian. I get to record history. For a living.

This company, which deals in hotels, pubs and breweries, is unique to the Pacific NW in that the owners buy up old, historic, run-down properties and turn them into these amazing, colorful places where you can drink house-made beer, wine and spirits, see live music, watch a movie, stay the night in the hotel and more. But before the places open, our lead historian digs into the state archives and records to find out why the building was built, who worked and lived there, what happened to it, what events were held there. He interviews the people who came before us so that everything we do henceforth -- the artwork, the rooms, even the menus, in some cases -- are informed by history. It is meaningful work. And now I get to be involved.

One of my tasks will be coordinating History Pubs, in which we organize speakers to present on some facet of Pacific NW history and guests can come and listen to the program while they eat and drink. So I will get to meet some amazingly interesting people, learn more about the region and hear some wonderful stories. For a living.