Ewww... Something Else for Val Day

Nine police cars showed up? Nine? That seems a little excessive. And icky.

And of course the couple was driving a Subaru, this being Portland and all. The only thing that would have made it better would be if they were driving a Prius.

Thanks, you silly kids, for keeping Portland weird. Keep on doing your thing. Just maybe not in grocery store parking lots.

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Editor’s note: This story contains sexual content that might not be appropriate for all readers

PORTLAND, Ore. – Some Valentine’s Day “role-playing” landed a couple in jail on Tuesday after the boyfriend and girlfriend were arrested and accused of disorderly conduct.

A Portland Police spokesman said around 12:35 p.m. officers got reports that a naked woman had been tied up in a car with duct tape over her mouth.

Sgt. Pete Simpson said officers raced to the area to look for the Subaru Legacy. Officers in Washington were also alerted in case the car was spotted driving on I-5.

A witness told police that the man driving the car “seemed hazy” and stated he and the woman were “just having some fun.”

The witness managed to get the license plate of the Subaru, which led police to the owner’s address on NE 111th Ave.

Officers didn’t find the owner right away, but continued to patrol the area looking for the car. Around 1 p.m., an officer in the area spotted the car and stopped a man seen walking away, Simpson said. The officer also noticed the naked woman bound in the back of the car.

The man, who police said is 31-year-old Nikolas Alexander Harbar, told police that he and his girlfriend were doing some Valentine’s Day role-playing. Officers said his girlfriend, 26-year-old Stephanie Morgan Pelzner, confirmed that story.

Officers arrested the couple on charges of disorderly conduct in the second degree. They were both taken to the Multnomah County Jail.

"You can't do things that are going to create a public alarm," Simpson said. "When it starts to affect other people and the public, something like this is not okay."

Simpson said nine Portland Police cars were tied up for approximately 20 minutes searching for the couple.

"Role-play all you want," he said. "But when you do something that is going to generate a 911 call you should probably do it at home."

Awww... Something for Val Day

Well, this is just sweet.

And Mr. Olympic Swimmer ain't half-bad to look at, either. At least his new fiancee had her nails done, despite the dumpy towel she's wearing.

Don't miss the reaction of their fellow swimmer to their upper right, who clasps his hands in genuine girly thrill. Love it.

My Baby's Blues

Here's another blue to add to my list from yesterday. My babydarlingpeach Ian's big blue eyes are nearly too much for me to handle in this shot.

He is 21 months old. And he needs a haircut. And a nose blow. And perhaps an eyebrow wax...?

Blue = Happy Place

Feeling a touch blue today, so what better color therapy than some blue stuff?

And while you're here, have any of you ever been to a place that looks like any of these spots? I am taking all suggestions for my 40th birthday trip next year. Been to Thailand, so that's not on the list. And that last shot is of a Roman bath in Bath, England, which I've already visited as well.

I'm thinking islands. And I want that color. Blue-green-turquoise. Greece is also out. Too far, too $$.

Welcome to the Big Top

We just received this quotation during a meeting at work. It came from way up above, so it is not merely suggestion but direction. I love it and not-love it:

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I find I think of myself not as a writer so much as someone who provides a gateway, a tangential route for readers to reach the circus. To visit the circus again, if only in their minds, when they are unable to attend it physically. I relay it through printed words on crumpled newsprint, words they can read again and again, returning to the circus whenever they wish, regardless of time of day or physical location. Transporting them at will.

When put this way, it sounds rather like magic, doesn't it?

--Friedrick Thiessen, 1898

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What lovely, evocative sentiments, no? The color is there, with the circus and the gateway and the magic. The thought that words can transport one's reader is just... the way I'd like to write.

Now, for the "not-love" part:

My job as a marketing writer is to inform and educate our customer base. Can this be done in a lovely, circus-y manner? Sure. Can I accomplish it? Absolutely. But can the general masses (including those who need to approve my work) tune in to this way of advertising? I don't know. From what I've seen, this may be a stretch for those more invested in spreadsheets and ROI and sell-sell-sell.

So, this will be an interesting experiment...

Trip Lust Satisfied

Hey! I have a bunch new followers! Hi, everyone. Nice to be in your heads for the next 30 seconds or so. Thanks for having me. I promise not to move the furniture around without asking.

And it figures that I gain some new readers at the same time that I forget that I have a blog and take a couple-week break.

Not to worry -- I'm back! I will strive to be more verbose this coming week. [Same old excuses apply -- creativity ebbing and flowing, busy at home, sick kids, so forth and so on... post hoc ergo propter hoc.]

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Jon and I took a 26-hour break this weekend, thanks to a most awesome friend and babyminder. We went here:

Which is near here:

And you have to pass over these there get there:

And you drive through forests of these:


And multiple scenes that look exactly like this:


And we were struck yet again with how ridiculously beautiful Oregon is and how lucky we are to live here. How it is kind of incredible to us both that this is where we landed and that this is where our children were born.

Our children are Oregonians -- so strange, coming from a place in western NY where six generations were born and raised.

Ker-FLUEY

The baby has the flu or some sort of vicious bug. I will spare you the details, but let's just say his system is firing from both ends, simultaneously. If you've ever had a child -- or been a child -- you know what I'm talking about. It's unpleasant for everyone involved.

However, Ian is muddling through, because he's a tough little man. He's not a complainer. I'd like to think he gets it from me. [Heh.]

Finn, on the other hand, is our sensitive guy. He hates when his little bro is sick. It makes him anxious and teary. His nurturing side kicks in, big time.

Last night, Ian produced a particularly bad double-blowout in which everything from his diaper to the front and back of his jammies to his hair was covered in all manner of noxious bodily fluids. After a moment of shocked panic -- "What... the hell?!"-- Jon and I mobilized. I grabbed Ian and deposited him on the floor of the bathroom, with Jon close on my heels. We began to strip him down, tossing his clothes directly into the garbage. (Seriously, there was no going back on those pajamas.)

"OK, you fill the bathtub. We need towels, lots and lots of towels. OLD ONES!"

"Right, I'm on it, and I'll grab some clean jammies and get a load of laundry started!"

"Cool, and... break!"

After ten minutes, we had the situation under control and the windows flung open, airing out the house. And then we heard the vacuum going. What the...?

It was our sweet Finn, madly vacuuming the living room. "I didn't know what else to do!" he said in despair. He just wanted to help, somehow.

That's my boy. Love that guy. Both of 'em. All three of 'em.

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Update: Ian is on the mend. Now we're just waiting for the bug to hit someone else. I'm guessing we're in for a long weekend.